Author Archives: david1970

Dumb Asses at People magazine gets Pitt-Jolie baby pictures for only 14 million.

A person involved in the negotiations for pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins says the rights have fetched $14 million from the stupid son of a bitches at People magazine.

Good thing they got paid for the photos now because when the child turns 18 and is arrested for the third time, and headed to rehab for drug addiction because their parents are so fucked up, their mugshot will appear for free on the web.

It is the second time People magazine has brought shame on themselves by paying for a photo of a kid from Pitt-Jolie that is destined for a life of alcoholism and drug addiction.

The only losers bigger than the management at People, are the ones that are so obsessed with these two idiots that they drive the magazine to pay such a price. Unfortunately, in a Zogby poll released just last month, 87% of the readers/picture lookers of the subscribers to the magazine, could not name the Vice President of the United States, either of their states senators, or locate their home state on the map.

A high level executive at People magazine speaking on condition of anonymity said, “The sheer stupidity of the American People never ceases to amaze us, but damn we LOVE it! Who cares about war, $4 gas, health care, and 10 trillion dollar deficits? Instead the morons are more concerned with these losers and their rehab bound kid. “

Network Anchors Travel With Obama To Middle East For Gangbang

 When Barack Obama comes home from his trip to Europe and the Middle East sometime this month, he’ll be making time for the Big Three anchors to have group sex with him while he is on the road. 

To get the word out, campaign officials during the past several weeks have been talking to the broadcast networks about logistics, and who will actually get to put their hands down his briefs first. 

The details remain sketchy for security reasons, though it’s confirmed that NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charles Gibson and CBS’ Katie Couric all will have sex with Obama on separate days. The exact dates of the sex have not been made public, also for security reasons. Couric’s is said to be most eager. As one senior CBS executive put it, “Katie just adores Obama, and looks forward to finding out if the myth about black men is true, and quite frankly Brian and Charlie seem frightened to learn first hand about the myth”! 

But the intense coverage that Obama’s group sex will generate is causing debate within the halls of the network news divisions. A network executive said that everyone in the mainstream media wants to have sex with Obama, and the campaign is putting them in a bad position about fairness in regards to whom actually gets to bang Obama. 

The networks also are talking to the McCain campaign to make sure that it’s not all about sex with Obama, all the time next week. 

“We have already reached out to them (the McCain campaign) to provide an equal opportunity to them, but I mean, who wants to have sex with McCain” said one of the ABC “World News” executive producers.

The Caucasian McCain receives polite but tepid welcome from pro-Obama crowd

(Trustworthy) — Caucasian Republican presidential hopeful John McCain received a polite but tepid welcome Wednesday as he spoke before a hugely pro-Barack Obama , black, and Democratic crowd at the NAACP convention.

McCain received the most cheers when opened his address with praise for his rival.

The audience cheered McCain’s pandering promises to reform the education system and expand opportunities for minorities although few in attendance believed him.

Gretchen Woods, an undecided voter, said she found McCain’s speech “informative and very interesting, but I still suspect he is probably a white devil”

Venitta Barnett, an NAACP member and Obama supporter, said also was glad McCain spoke before the group.

“I came, and I was open-minded, and I listened, but let me tell you something, that white man don’t have a chance in hell with this group!”

President Bush did not attend an NAACP conference until his sixth year in office because black people hate him.

McCain apologized for not accepting an invitation to the convention last year, which came at a time when his campaign was in the Republican nomination, and knew appearing with black people would sink his chance at winning his parties nomination.

“Don’t tell him I said this, but he is an impressive fellow in many ways, especially for a black man,” McCain said in Cincinnati, Ohio.

His comments were met by blank stares of hatred from the crowd.

McCain said that whatever the outcome, “Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing — for blacks anyway.”

Polls suggest that McCain has a lot of ground to gain among black voters.

A New York Times/CBS News poll conducted July 7-14 found that black voters favor Obama over McCain, 89 to 2 percent. Michael Steele, the Head of GOPAC and the only black Republican left in the Republican party said, “These are numbers that we feel will climb all the way to 3% by election day”.

Uribe: Betancourt Rescuers used Red Cross, Promises to Return Hostages to FARC

BOGOTA, Colombia (Trustworthy) — Colombian President Alvaro Uribe admitted Wednesday that the symbol of the neutral Red Cross organization was used in a hostage rescue mission that freed 15 people from leftist rebels two weeks ago, and has vowed to appease liberals by rounding up the hostages and have them returned to their terrorist FARC captors .

Uribe made the admission after CNN reported on unpublished photographs and videos that clearly showed a man wearing a Red Cross bib. Wrongly using the Red Cross logo is prohibited by the Geneva Conventions. The man was a member of the Colombian military intelligence team involved in the daring rescue, Uribe said in an address carried on national TV and radio.  Uribe also called for the swift execution of the Colombian military intelligence member.

The president said that as the constitutional head of the armed forces, he takes full political responsibility for what he described as a slip-up. Uribe said he was sorry for the mistake and had talked to Red Cross officials about it.  “I vowed to the Red Cross that we would have the hostages returned to the jungle and their FARC captors within days.”

The families of the captives were enraged with the Colombian President when they discovered he had violated the Geneva Convention during the daring rescue. A family spokesman released a statement saying, “We were shocked to find this was a violation of the precious Geneva Convention, and we expect to turn our loved ones back over to FARC forces within days. We appeal to the almighty UN to please press forward with a resolution condemning President Uribe for these war crimes.”